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EC in China - 11 March 2007
Hey everyone!Just met two old ladies yesterday who were squatting in the sun outside our apartment block taking their grandsons for a wee in the garden. It was nice to see. They just kept offering, neither did anything. The babies seemed very placid, I couldn't imagine Imogen just sitting their like that for very long.
I start language school tomorrow.. Thinking about adding some questions about how people EC to my research just for my own interest later on. Seems like most kids wear split crotch pants until around 3 years old. I bought Imogen some split crotch dungarees and long thermals... they all come stitched up, but the part where you split them is reinforced around the edges, so you just unpick that seam if you want them to be split and its all tidy. I got the lady at the market to do it for me. Haven't taken her out in them yet!! Having so many misses today, must be something in the Chinese food she is reacting to?
Kelly
EC in China II - 12 March 2007
Hi all,Today I took Imogen down for her afternoon toddle in the sun with all the old grandmas and their charges. She kept holding on to my arms then squatting. She was wearing split crotch pants like all the other kids. Sometimes she sits down to wee, so i took her for a pee opp and she went -- first time with split crotch pants... they are so easy!!!! Its quite troublesome to offer her if you ahve to pull her pants down and back up but split crotch its like 'you wanna go?' "no' 'OK then' finished. Anyway, for those with younger babies, I noted that the grannies had the little ones in split crotch pants (NOT dungarees) then tucked a folded, teatowel shaped cloth into the waistband underneath the split crotch pants. This meant that a wee was caught in the cloth rather than on the person if there was a miss. Its so much easier to change this than change nappies too!! I thought it was a great idea.. like a prefold belt but with legs.
It's about 3 degrees outside at this time of day, although with the sun it feels like 10 or so. ANd all the bubs have split crotch pants with long ones underneath and other ones on top. They are carried with a blanket or jacket wrapped around their butts, and they wear longer tops than what we normally have our bubs in. I bought some for imogen, just very simple polarfleece pinnies that have long sleeves and do up at the back, about mid thigh in lenght. they use these instead of bibs, so you just wash the pinny not the woollen jersey.
More updates next time I learn something from the grannies!!
Kelly and Imogen (9 months)
Xining, China
EC in China III - 22 March, 2007
Hi Everyone... continuing adventures of EC in China!Today our househelper came round (yes... we do...she cleans the floors and bathroom once a week its GREAT!!), and I talked with her about EC. I was complaining that Imogen didn't like going anymore and I kept getting wee-ed on. She said this (10 months) is a difficult time, because they don't go everytime they feed like when they are little. Its more like once an hour,
but then sometimes three times per hour. She said, a mother can tell, if she is holding her baby a lot. Other people can't tell. Men often can't tell too. But even then, she got wee-ed on alot. Today Imogen went through 4 pairs of split crotch pants!! In one afternoon. In the end I worked out it was the coffee I had been drinking over the last few weeks. My househelper said... Ah so its your problem, not her problem!!
Anyway, she said, once she can walk its should get easier. At least they just pee on the floor, or squat over the toilet and not so much in their trousers. (Floor is easy because you can wipe it up, changing trousers is a hassle). She also said that when it rains they pee more. Anyway, she was very encouraging and said its quite normal at this age to go through this!!
She also expressed surprise at how long her foreign bosses babies slept during the day.. Chinese babies have lots of little naps, out and about , in mum's arms. I said people train their babies to by leaving them to cry, she couldn't believe it!!
In saying that, I do find a lot of CHinese parents do things to their babies against their will alot more, like pretending to steal each other's babies which is very confusign for the baby. So I'm not sure their way of EC is necessarily best either, if it involves forcing. The babies seem VERY placid compared to the babies I know, possibly because they are wearing like 10 layers of clothing and can't move LOL!! They are carried alot, and don't squirm when they are carried like Imogen does.
Anyway better go look after said baby!!
Kelly
Xining, China
EC in China IV - 1 April, 2007
We went out today with some foreign (western) friends for lunch. A lot of us had kids so the conversation turned to 'bad' habits they had picked up in China that would have to change when they went home for visits. The first was eating with their hands at the table (until old enough to use chopsticks). The next one was being able to pee whereever they want when out. One guy was saying "yeah, now my daughter is 5 we are really encouraging her to use the toilet when out rather than peeing on the grass, as she's getting a bit old. It will definitely have to stop before she is 15". I shared with them that we actually were practicing EC (or split crotch pants baby pottying) in Australia before we came, although I was always a bit nervous about whipping her bum out in public and peeing her. Here I do it on the side of the road, hundreds of people stopping to look at the FOREIGN blonde baby weeing on cue.The conversation then turned to why they had to use split crotch pants. One Malaysian girl said her mum had pottied her from very young but used ordinary pants. I said that the climate here was such that when wearing two pairs of long pants, shoes jackets etc, its really hard to pull them all down and offer a baby a wee -- and then if they don't want to go it was such a big drama. With split crotch pants you just hold them in postion -- need to go? No? no problem.
We then discussed cues... apparently most Chinese mums use a special whistle, which I have never heard but I haven't been here as long.
Other interesting things... my househelper told me that foreign mums force their children to eat Chinese food even if the don't like it and why was that? I said that our baby food is very plain and boring, and hence when kids are a bit older they don't tend to like a lot of 'interesting' food. She asked why is our baby food so boring? I said I don't know because we are too lazy to make any, we just give her what we are eating!! Imogen even eats a bit of spicy food at 10 months, hasn't affected her wind or bowels at all. (Garlic does though :-( My househelper wondered why we were so 'Chinese' in our parenting style. You know what I think it is? I think its different ideas about discipline. Many of the western cultures are built on Christian tradition -- the bible emphasises the role of the parent in disciplining children. Some people think disciplining is making sure your children always do what they are told, and making sure that you don't get your children used to you being lenient from an early age. Now we are Christians, (not just 'tradition' ones) and I think the bible emphasises understanding and loving your child just as much as discipline... anyway, how can you discipline if you don't understand them? We are meant to be modelled on the discipline of God -- who loves us and cares for us and shows us more grace and mercy than punishment. In fact he loved us so much he sent his Son/himself to pay our punishment for us! Anyway, we are going to discipline Imogen when she is old enough to understand (Sears style...), but not in a way that distances her from us, or causes her to try to 'please' us with her actions -- I want her to know that we love her no matter what!! The same with the comments I made previously about Chinese people not letting their babies cry to sleep, or giving them forced routines until they submit.... its not that I want to be Chinese necessarily, but I think there are more important things in life and our relationships than forcing routine and 'showing them who's boss'. They KNOW you have power over them -- they can't do anything themselves! You don't have to SHOW them, just give them kindness. Anyway that's my rant for that topic....
I also talked to my Chinese teacher... her child woke through the night until she was 3. Most of the time she woke 3 times a night, even after she self-weaned at one. She slept with her mum, and preferrred her mum to have her arm over her while she slept. It has been such a relief to talk about Imogen's late night antics without any judgement... everyone here seems to have the same lifestyle. Imogen is now sleeping much better, only waking twice a night which is fine by me if i go to bed early. In fact, we often here the baby in the apartment above us (must be also in the master bedroom) waking through the night too.
That's all for now....
Kelly
EC in China V - 17 April, 2007
Hey everyone,Had few EC conversations this week with my teacher. She has a six year old and she EC'd her from one month (obviously not so much now :-). She used disposable nappies at night, although she said after around one year her daughter started wanting mum to take her to the loo at night, so she took her wees THREE times per night until she was THREE YEARS OLD (wow that's
tiring...). She used split crotch pants from one month until one year, then put her in ordinary pants with split crotch underwear. She thinks its strange that some mums keep their bubs in split crotch pants until they are well older than three... I think this is the Chinese equivalent to the late toilet trainer. Her daughter prefers the western toilet to the squat toilet, as its more comfortable.. in fact once she even found her daughter asleep on there!
We also shared with a whole group of foreigners (none with kids.. some pregnant) what we were doing. It came from them seeing us change her wet pants on my lap from one pair of training pants to another, plus a new pair of pants. They though that was much more convenient than having to find somewhere to change nappies (or worse.. just never changing them) (because you have to lay the baby down to change nappies, and there is no where clean enough to do that when out). Anyway, then we got on to talking about EC and they all thought it was really cool and amazing. I guess I just don't think it is that amazing anymore (sad I know) because it is so normal in China... misses are normal, weeing in the potty and toilet is normal, its just part of a learning process like learning to walk, talk and eat.
Well, better go...
Kelly
EC in China VI - May 4, 2007
Hi Everyone,Greetings from springtime in Xining! Getting out a bit more means that Imogen can do her business outdoors alot more, which of course is much appreciated. She is now 11 months, and the one year mark is approaching rapidly. The developmental leaps have just kept coming, with the development of small motor skills her major focus at the moment (after mastering her first steps, she has gone on walking strike and is now wanting to do little things!). She spends her time putting things in and out of bags and baskets, and on top of that spends a lot of time trying to get herself on the potty (this is difficult considering she isn't walking). Mostly it involves holding on to a chair and trying to put both feet in the potty then squatting. She has yet to really sit down herself, but after 20 minutes of trying will (finally) let me help her lower herself down to wee.
Currently her signals are walking us to the toilet or potty, playing with the potty, finding the lid of the potty (if she can't see the potty
anywhere) and walking her way around the room to a certain spot then "calling" me (often she has already gone by the time I get there). She has also pooed in the bath a couple of times (for the first time), and had a couple of poo misses recently after a bout of antibiotics.
In terms of the China part... she is wearing split crotch pants most of the time, and is growing out of her dungarees so I have bought her some trousers. Kids clothes in China are very bright, do not come in matching sets, and in general are covered with little faces, cartoons or interesting buttons and glitters. Imogen LOVES them. Especially the orange ones. She has almost grown out of all her pastel pink and purple and is wearing bright colours mostly, it's really cute. Apparently unmatching clothing is considered really cute in China (so I'm told) for babies and kids anyway. So no worries with your orange shoes, pink stockings and yellow and black spotted dress.
The coolest thing I have found is SPLIT CROTCH STOCKINGS. These are really cool, as they are very fitted and warm, but with a nice big split. They don't have feet actually, just a sort of frill round the bottom that goes over the shoes. And little bows and ribbons attached. Anyway, I have yet to buy her a dress to wear with them, but sometimes she wears them round home. They are so convenient, and I think with a dress would be quite modest.
I've had a few chats this week with Chinese ECers. My cleaner said that in the village (she is from the village) they don't change the babies' pants in the summer if they have a miss, just let them dry. I was thinking about this myself, as when Imogen pees on me I don't always need to change my pants, same with the split crotch pants, alot might go on the floor (or Mum) and not so much on the pants, they can then quickly dry. She said in the winter they change them immediately, but only really do washing once a week. I assume this means they actually dry the pants without washing and rotate them until washing day. Not sure how many pairs they would have. They also have handknitted woollen split crotch pants so these wouldn't smell too bad. I know this sounds gross, but if you don't have running water or a washing machine this is really your only option. I try to use only two pairs of pants a day, and dry them in between, then put them in the wash at the end of the day. Some photos of our time in China are included here.
My husband asked our cleaner if Chinese babies also refuse to go for you. She said YES all the time!! Her nephew is currently 3 months old and on a potty strike -- just straightens his legs and refuses to let you take him. We asked this because Imogen REALLY wants to do it herself now, and this has led to alot of misses. I think Chinese people just accept this as part of the process, along with getting wet, having misses and doing washing. They don't stress about it or punish them or anything. It's just normal.
In saying that, I think for us I like using one wets the best, with pants overtop. But our one wets have stopped working (homemade ones... I didn't put a waterproof layer and now I think they have just lost a lot of their absorbency) and her pants get wet anyway, so I think I might as well just put her in splitcrotch pants. I still feel embarassed when we go out with foreigners, so I put her in training pants and other pants then, but still have to bring changes of over pants anyway!
That's all for now!! Happy International Workers' week (a big holiday in China... communist country you know!)
Kelly
